Helping marriages progress is the greatest Valentine's Day gift

By Linda & Richard Eyre, For the Deseret News

• 
  
  Happy Valentine's Day! We think it is one of the great holidays of the year — especially for couples — a chance to express love in a special way to the most important person in our lives.
  It's also a great holiday for jewelers, perfume-makers, chocolatiers and flower shops. We are afraid this column will be of little help to any of these retailers, however, because we are going to suggest a different kind of gift for Feb. 14.
  How about giving the one you love the most a gift that will actually make your love grow even stronger — a gift that will keep on giving to both of you and to your relationship?
  We think that marriage can exist on at least five levels, and that it can progress from one level to the next and to the next. Let us try to name these levels and describe them briefly and then suggest a Valentine's gift that can actually help couples progress from one to the other, climbing the ladder of love.
  Level one is a marriage of convenience. Two people think they are in love so they decide to live together, with or without an actual ceremony.
  Level two is a marriage of contract. Man and wife get married legally — and often religiously — and make at least a pledge of "in sickness and in health" and "till death do us part."
  Level three is a marriage of true commitment. Beyond the formality of a wedding, both parties exclusively and completely commit themselves to each other and give the security of knowing that there will never be any other.
  Level four is a marriage of synergy, where the man and the woman, the yin and the yang, learn to complement and complete each other so well that the total is greater than the sum of its parts.
  Level five is a marriage of oneness in which the commitment and the synergy continue to grow to the point where the couple share everything and where their oneness becomes an entity that supersedes their "individualness." Everything they seek, they seek together, and they are essentially fused into something that swallows up even as it preserves their separate gifts and natures.
  Whatever level you perceive yourself to be on this Valentine's Day, you can progress to the next one if you both want to. And while there are many ways to progress, here is a suggestion that we think works for all who really try it.
  Have a private, marital "Sunday session" for about an hour once a week where you do four things:
  
  
  1. Coordinate your schedules and priorities for the week ahead so that you are together when you need to be and know where each other is when you are not.
  2. Decide on one night during the coming week when you will go on a "date," which might be as complete as dinner and a movie or might be as simple as a little walk or drive together. Think of it as a continuation of your courtship and be willing to pay the price and make the sacrifice of a baby sitter.
  3. Have a private "testimony meeting" or "feelings session" where each of you takes a few minutes to tell the other your feelings about your goals, your relationship concerns, your faith and your love. Listen attentively to the other person when it is his or her turn, and express yourself honestly when it is yours.
  4. Finish with a prayer — in whatever way you are accustomed to praying — with each person being voice for a part of the prayer. Whether or not this is a regular or usual process in your marriage, do it to close this weekly Sunday session.
  Giving this gift to each other for Valentine's Day will take real commitment, and it will take an hour that you may not think you have. But there are 168 hours in a week, and using one of them this way will make the other 167 a lot better. Guaranteed!
  

  The Eyres' three latest books are "The Entitlement Trap," "5 Spiritual Solutions" and "The Three Deceivers." Richard and Linda are New York Times No. 1 best-selling authors who lecture throughout the world on family-related topics. Read Linda Eyre's blog at www.deseretnews.com/blog/81/A-World-of-Good.html and visit the Eyres anytime at www.TheEyres.com or www.valuesparenting.com. Listen to their weekly radio show on Mondays at 4:30 at www.byuradio.org

ARTICLE - YEAT IN REVIEW: 2011 ANOTHER YEAR OF PROGRESS FOR THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS

Year in Review: 2011 Another Year of Progress for the Church

 

27 December 2011 — Salt Lake City

In 2011 new temples were announced and others dedicated, and increased public attention was focused on The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in what many journalists have called the “Mormon Moment.”
Temple Building
Thomas S. Monson, president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, announced the building of eight new temples during the Church’s general conferences in April and October. President Monson said four temples would be built internationally in Canada, France, South Africa and Colombia, while another four will be built in the United States in Colorado, Idaho, Utah and Wyoming. Of particular interest was the announcement that the historic Provo Tabernacle, which had been destroyed by fire in December 2010, would be rebuilt and converted to the city’s second temple.


Ground was broken in 2011 for seven temples in Phoenix, Arizona; Fort Lauderdale, Florida; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; Trujillo, Peru; Payson, Utah; Sapporo, Japan and Fortaleza, Brazil.
President Monson rededicated the Atlanta Georgia Temple after a nearly two-year renovation including utility updates and better accessibility for disabled persons.
The San Salvador El Salvador Temple was dedicated by President Henry B. Eyring, first counselor in the First Presidency on Sunday, 21 August 2011. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, second counselor in the First Presidency, dedicated the Quetzaltenango Guatemala Temple on Sunday, 11 December 2011.
Earlier in the year, Church leaders announced the Ogden Utah Temple would close for major renovation. The temple is undergoing extensive changes inside and out, and the Ogden Tabernacle, next door to the temple, will receive an architectural facelift.
The “Mormon Moment”
In what many news media have dubbed the "Mormon Moment," the Church received increased media attention in 2011. The Church emphasized that it desired to participate in the national conversation taking place about it. Addressing this attention, Public Affairs Department managing director Michael Otterson wrote a column for the Washington Post outlining facts the public should know about Latter-day Saints.


Humanitarian Aid
The Church responded to disasters around the globe. One of the greatest challenges was Japan’s devastating earthquake and tsunami, which took thousands of lives and destroyed homes, businesses and livelihoods. The Church provided more than 250 tons of supplies, food, water, blankets, bedding, hygiene items, clothing and fuel. Church-sponsored volunteers numbering over 20,000 have donated 175,000 hours of service. Japan’s fishing industry has suffered severely. Church Humanitarian Services has worked with and continues to donate equipment and supplies to 20 of 54 fishing co-ops. The impact upon the Church was significant, with 52 meetinghouses damaged. All repairs have been completed.
President Monson, during an address at the 181st annual general conference of the Church, reported on the humanitarian aid going to Japan.
The Church reached out in other parts of the world with humanitarian aid. Besides the tragedy in Japan, several parts of the world experienced flooding, landslides, earthquakes, tornadoes and a hurricane (Irene). They occurred in Australia, New Zealand, Colombia, Brazil and the Philippines, as well as the Midwest and southern United States. Latter-day Saints in each of these areas also donated their time and efforts.
Mormon Helping Hands
From Europe to the Americas, thousands of Mormon Helping Hands volunteers marked the 75th anniversary of the Church’s welfare program. During the Church’s general conference in April, President Henry B. Eyring encouraged Latter-day Saints to help in their communities.


In Germany, 9,000 Latter-day Saints and their neighbors worked side-by-side to donate 34,000 hours in support of children battling cancer.
Members of the Church in thousands of communities across the world donated their time and efforts in service. A few examples included:
Day of Service in South Florida
Thousands of Mormon Volunteers Lend a Hand in California and Hawaii
Mormon Volunteers From Winnipeg Sacrifice to Repair Flood-Damaged Homes
Mormon Helping Hands Find Joy in Beautifying Brazil
Mormons and Provo United Church of Christ Join to Spruce Up Century-Old Chapel
Africa Mormon Helping Hands Celebrate Five Years by Volunteering
Mormon Helping Hands Paint, Garden and Clean in the UK
Mormon Helping Hands Clean and Comfort
Mormons in the Northwest United States and Canada Pitch In to Help Communities
150 Million Copies of the Book of Mormon
The 150 millionth copy of the Book of Mormon rolled off the presses early in 2011. The first volume was published in 1830. The Book of Mormon is published in 82 languages and is partially translated in 25 more.


You Choose to Change When You Follow Christ
Church president Thomas S. Monson spoke to Brigham Young University students about following the example of Jesus Christ. He cited examples in the life of the Savior and in lives of Latter-day Saints. “Remember who you are,” said President Monson. “You are a son or daughter of our Heavenly Father.”
In May, President Monson marked the centennial of Dixie State College in St. George, Utah, with a commencement address. He instructed graduates on building bridges of attitude, integrity and service. He said their lives will be fuller, richer and happier if they looked for opportunities to serve.
Religious Freedom
In a speech given at Chapman University Law School in February, Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church explained why religious freedom is so vital. “This freedom,” said Elder Oaks, “is founded upon religious principles of human worth and dignity.” In September, Elder Oaks spoke to young adults at Brigham Young University on religious freedom in a talk entitled “Truth and Tolerance.”
Elder Quentin L. Cook of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, participating in BYU-Idaho’s commencement, delivered a speech to graduates regarding morality and religious freedom. He challenged students to work with their friends of others faiths to “improve the moral fabric of this nation and world.”
9/11 Reflections: Ten Years Later
President Thomas S. Monson and other religious leaders shared thoughts on the ten-year commemoration of the tragedy of September 11, 2001. “People across the United States rediscovered the need for God and turned to Him for solace and understanding,” said the world leader of more than 14 million Mormons. “By nature we are vain, frail, and foolish,” said President Monson. “We sometimes neglect God. Sometimes we fail to keep the commandments that He gives us to make us happy.”


Mormon Tabernacle Choir Tour
The Mormon Tabernacle Choir launched a summer concert tour in June on the east coast of North America. Concert sites included Norfolk, Virginia; Washington, D.C.; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; Chautauqua, New York and Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
One of the unique attractions of the tour included a “flash mob” in Colonial Williamsburg, Virginia (scroll down in the blog post to “Mormon Tabernacle Choir Participates in Flash Mob, 21 June 2011”).
Milestones in the Church
In 2001, then President Gordon B. Hinckley announced the establishment of a fund to help young people in economically challenged countries go to college, get a degree, find employment and then repay the loan. Now, at the ten-year anniversary of that announcement, the Perpetual Education Fund has helped 50,000 Latter-day Saints get an education who would not have been able to afford one, since they are living in impoverished circumstances.
With traditional songs and dances, Latter-day Saints in the Philippines celebrated 50 years of having the Church established in that nation. In Salt Lake City, a Philippines madrigal group performed with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir during its weekly broadcast of Music and the Spoken Word.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints achieved a major milestone in 2011 in providing people the opportunity to participate in general conference in their own language. Beginning 50 years ago with only English, Dutch, German, Samoan and Spanish, the semiannual meetings, broadcast from the Conference Center on Temple Square, are now available in 93 languages. The development of broadcast and other technology has been key to Mormons tuning in to the twice-yearly, two-day conference in remote locations.


After the Church successfully completed a solar-powered meetinghouse in Farmington, Utah, in 2010, a second building was constructed in Mesa, Arizona, earlier this year. So far, the Farmington building has saved thousands of dollars in utility costs and reduced the structure’s carbon footprint. The Church believes the earth’s inhabitants must be good stewards of its resources.
Movie Set Created to Tell Story of Christ’s Life
A new movie set representing ancient Jerusalem and other areas in which Jesus Christ lived and ministered has been created in Goshen, Utah, a small community south of Salt Lake City. Videos produced on the set help people better understand the life and ministry of the Savior. Recently, the Church released the first segments from these Bible videos. These videos, shot on the new movie set, were announced at the First Presidency’s annual Christmas devotional and given as a gift to the world.
Diversity and Strength of Women
Relief Society, the Church’s women’s organization, published Daughters in My Kingdom: The History and Work of Relief Society, which highlights the strength and diversity of Mormon women. General Relief Society president Julie Beck said, “This story that the Church is releasing now is very important, I think, for our time now, and I can’t think of a time when it’s been needed more than it’s needed today.” The book was distributed to all women in the Church 18 and over and is available on the Internet.
I’m a Mormon
In 2011 the Church selected locations around the United States and Australia to run television ads, billboards and other signage in an effort to educate the public about Mormons and introduce them to individual Mormons. Latter-day Saints throughout the world are presented in “I’m a Mormon” vignettes about why they are members of the Church and what they believe.


Church History Sites
The First Presidency announced the Church will restore a Pennsylvania historic site important to the early beginnings of the Church. The site is near the Susquehanna River. Newsroom ran a special feature this year highlighting several Church historical sites.
Thousands Enjoy Annual Christmas Concert
Concluding the year was the annual Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert. This year’s guest artists were award-winning British actress, artist and author Jane Seymour and American baritone soloist Nathan Gunn. More than 80,000 people attended the free concerts.