CROSSING OVER - A MountainWings Original

Crossing Over
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What a time for my life to end now?

The doctor announced that my time in this world was rapidly coming to an end. I only had a short while left.

I was happy, I was comfortable, I was just getting to a point where I could really enjoy things, and now this happens!

I have so much stuff that I barely have room to put anything else. My home has become crowded, I truly have been blessed and now I am asked to give all of this up?

I have too much to live for.

I had it all. I was waited on hand and foot. My breakfast was brought to me in bed and even lunch and dinner if I wanted it. I had someone to clean up after me too. I was the most important person around, a real big shot, and now this.

I should have known it was too good to last. I had it too easy. Everything was too perfect. I had no money worries, no job worries, my relationship was perfect. No woman ever loved a man
as much as I was loved and now everything is changing.

Why?

Why can't things continue in perfect bliss?
Why can't God leave me alone and leave me happy?
Why do I have to endure pain and suffering?
Why do I have to die?

Why?

Pain is a good indicator that something is happening.
That's why I was at the doctor in the first place.

The pain.

If you heard the screams, you would understand why I was upset.
The screams told a story that no medical report could ever say.
The screams racked my entire body.
I shook all over just from the screaming.

Have you ever yelled to the top of your voice?
Yelled so loud your throat became sore?
Yelled so loud your ears still echoed with your strained and pained voice?

That's what the screaming was like.
I can't even put in words how upset and lost I felt.

Have you ever had anyone describe to you what it's like to leave this world? I don't mean just passing away in your sleep, but to leave in the middle of pain and suffering.

Do you have any idea?

I only had a short while left.

My lungs weren't working very well. They nearly weren't working at all. In these last stages they were filled with fluid. My digestive system wasn't able to process solid foods either.
I was on a purely liquid diet fed through a tube. My eyes were very sensitive to light and my house had to be kept rather dark.
Suddenly another scream racked my body.

I only had a short while left.

The doctor's head shook from side to side in answer to pleas for more painkilling drugs.

"We've done all we can for the pain," was the only answer.

I felt my time nearing as I struggled. I am a fighter, but there are some fights that you just can't win.
Sometimes what you are fighting against is just too strong.

I struggled anyway.
It was all I could do and I wasn't going without a fight.

I saw blood.

The doctors say this is a sure sign that you have only minutes left.

"So this is it," I thought.
I was too weak to fight it anymore.

I felt myself going down a long dark tunnel.
I saw a great bright white light at the other end.
I felt a strong force pulling me to the other side and a strong force pushing me out of this world.

What or who was waiting on the other end?

Faster than I thought possible, I was pulled through the tunnel.

I knew I had crossed over.

The light was overwhelming, a different kind of light.
Brighter by far than anything I had ever seen.

I looked back and there was a limp body on the bed that I couldn't even recognize. Was this the body that carried me through my old world?

I was in a different world, but was I dreaming, dead, or what?

I saw strange creatures like I had never seen.
They were big giants but I felt surrounded by love.
Somehow, I knew that these strange creatures meant me no harm.

I heard them speak in a language that I had only heard through muffled dreams,

I heard the words...

"Here is your new son Mr. Bronner, would you like to cut the umbilical cord?"



This is my speculation on what my son Christian thought as he was being born on New Year's Day, the birth of a new year.
Read about it here: http://www.mountainwings.com/past/2006.htm

This is a different perspective on the miracle of birth.
Read it again from the viewpoint of an unborn baby and you'll see a different meaning.

Birth is always painful and depending upon which side we are on, it can feel like we are dying, yet we are being born anew.
This is true for both natural and spiritual births.

We often go crying, kicking, and screaming into each new world,

both those going,

...and those left behind.


Jesus answered, "I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit.
Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, 'You must be born again.'"


~A MountainWings Original~